Being a teacher never really stops and the things I say on a daily basis sometimes makes me do a double take. It is not an easy job and I never quite know where my day is going to take me. I'll admit that this time of year, just a week or so to go, can be extremely tough for various reasons and I can find my resolve being tested. Sometimes I even thinking the dreaded thought that can lead to teacher burnout, "Why am I doing this job?"
I am not writing this for a pat on the back during Teacher Appreciation Week, but rather an explanation for those off you that have asked: "How do you do your job? "If you're getting your Master's are you leaving teaching?" And really it's all so very complex and intertwined that I don't really know how to answer the question except with, "I do this job because I love it and I don't really know where I am headed, but I know what I am doing right now is being the best teacher I can be." It would be too easy to say, "I do this despite all the obstacles that are put in an educator's way." It is to easy to say that because I am in the classroom every single day and I make that choice, obstacles or not, it is my choice. Really how could I do anything else?
A few weeks ago, a former student popped into visit on a Friday afternoon after a very tough week. We talked about what she's doing, how college is going, how the "real world" is different than high school and then I hugged her and sent her back out to continue to grow as an adult.Today I cried as one of my former students practiced her senior speech in class and I gave another senior student an award. I cried for many different reasons: pride, concern for their future, fulfillment, and because I am just a big sap.
Back to intertwined. The future connects to the past and the past connects to the future. A bit of a cliche, but it is not to see every flower bloom in the spring; it is to plant seeds that may bloom later.
PS Sorry for the typos, but it's May...
